Hi. If you’re subscribed to me on YouTube then you probably noticed (or didn’t notice, as the case may be) that I disappeared. I genuinely haven’t made a video since the 8th of May 2014 (let’s just ignore that awkward ALS Ice Bucket Challenge? I didn’t even edit it!). I’m sorry, but there’s a few reasons and I think I need to get them off my chest. So here we go…
“I’ve Been Busy”
Oi, don’t roll your eyes at me! I’ve genuinely been busy. I remember that I specifically stopped making videos for a while in May to concentrate on the last few weeks of my college work. At the same time my Dad got an offer to work abroad, so he and my Mum moved out (temporarily until 2016), not long after that my sister did also. I’m in charge of the the cooking, the house and (for 4 days a week) my dog, Lucy. I was also still doing driving lessons and getting my car sorted at this time (I passed first time, by the way).
In June; I attended open days for universities, I went to a concert, I finished my first year of college and a lot of things changed for me, in terms of my opinions. It was a lot to swallow. July reunited me with my family for a holiday and I went camping with my old school friends. I also started a relationship, too. August lead to me purchasing a MacBook Pro for my work, a terrible weekend at Summer in the City (seriously, awful) and the start to me building my own website through Tumblr (which failed). Oh yeah, and I still had my part time job at a pub in my village. I was going to make a video or something, but I was just so tired and I wanted (and needed) to chill in the very little spare time I got.
September; the return to college-my second and final year and my Mum came home to see me for a few weeks. October; I started my UCAS university application, I took a day trip to Channel 4’s studios to learn about getting a job in the media industry, I took a week out in Singapore with my sister to see my parents and I gave up on my Tumblr website in favour of WordPress. Thank you for being there for me, WordPress. I quit my job, too -they were messing me around and I’d had enough.
November was surprisingly busy and upbeat; I saw Miranda Sings live (she got me so good), I saw my nan for a week, my boyfriend for another week, I worked on my website (which as you can see is now live), I had a lovely 18th birthday with family and friends, I lost my “clubbing-virginity”, I got a PlayStation 4 (I game now?!) and I sent off my UCAS application (eventually-expect a rant about this in the future).
All the while I’ve had what I’ll call “personal stuff” to deal with too. It’s been quite a challenge, but here we are December 2014 and I’m back. *pulls party popper*.
“I Don’t Want to Upload Crap”
On top of my “busy” schedule and workload it would be extremely difficult for me to plan, film and create a new video every week at a decent quality. I was only available in the evenings at which point the lighting is all wrong, my room isn’t particularly easy to film in because there’s no decent background, my camera is low quality, my hair was wrong, I had spots on my face, I didn’t have time to edit neatly… etc, so I found it easier to just not upload at all, despite me promising “weekly videos on a Thursday”. I didn’t want to upload crap to my channel. I want it to be perfect. It’s hard not to compare myself to some of the bigger, well-known ‘vloggers’ and it’s easy to forget that they can afford the equipment they need to make a perfect video each time. I realise this was wrong of me to do. I should make what I can make, it doesn’t matter if it’s awful. I can build it up over time.
A Big Launch
I started getting really passionate about making something new in September (No, seriously), but I’ve had this idea set in my head that I need a big launch. James Pratters 2.0 is a new, improved project for me and I felt like before I uploaded a video everything had to be perfect for a ‘big launch’. End screen, website, fonts, colour schemes, logos, slogans- the lot. I felt like I needed all of this to be ready, to keep a consistent ‘brand’. I’ve realised recently, that’s a stupid way to think about it all, and moreover it’s impossible. I’m thinking so hard about how I should layout my content, that I’m not making any content at all. My project is a party without people. So now I’m working on a steady launch, and improving things overtime.
Will I be on YouTube Soon?
Yes. Of course. We have so much to catch up on. Being honest, I am not going to promise you a new video every week. I want to stay active, so I’ll keep my blog and social networks up to date, but you can expect videos to come as and when I feel like creating them. That could be a poorly-produced vlog every day, that could be a single advice blog in a month, it could be anything but I’m going to try an remain active. I may go slower, but I will not stop. I’m really passionate about this, though, believe me.